Toddlers Who Have Words but Rarely Use Them

A toddler may say a word right after hearing it, or once in a while, yet rarely use it to ask for something or tell someone something. Repeating a word and using it to communicate are different steps, and understanding is a separate skill, so clinicians ask which words a child uses unprompted and how much the child understands.

What you’ll learn

• Which words go into a toddler’s word count, and why
• How understanding words differs from saying them
• What helps at home, without asking for the word
• How rarely used words differ from words that stop, and when to ask

My Toddler Has Words but Won’t Use Them. Why?

Saying a word and using a word are two different steps. A toddler who repeats a word right after an adult, or says it only when asked, has shown they can produce it, while a toddler who reaches for a word unprompted, to get something or to share something, is putting that word to work. So a toddler can have a handful of words that come out when copying and still rarely use them to ask or to tell.

The American Speech-Language-Hearing Association (ASHA) describes early words in terms of what a child does with them. Among its communication milestones for 13 to 18 months, it lists understanding and using words for common objects, some actions and people, and pointing to make requests, to comment or to get information. For 19 to 24 months, its list includes using at least 50 words, putting two or more words together and using words to ask for help.

What those milestones share is words and gestures aimed at another person. ASHA also notes that every child develops in an individual way, even among brothers and sisters, and may reach some milestones earlier and others later, so the milestones describe the wider course of speech and language development rather than a timetable for one child.

Which of a Toddler’s Words Go Into the Count

When counting a toddler’s words, count the ones the child uses on their own and leave out words repeated immediately after an adult. A sound such as “ba” counts as a word when a child uses it consistently for bottle, and ASHA counts signs and approximations, which are attempts close to the real word, toward the words a child uses to communicate, known as expressive vocabulary.

When a speech-language pathologist (SLP) looks at a late talker’s expressive vocabulary, ASHA says it takes in emerging words and approximations in every language the child hears. Leaving copied words out is only a way of keeping the tally, and says nothing against copying.

From clinical practice

Family word counts tend to hold every word a toddler has ever said. The more telling list is shorter. It holds the words the child uses on their own, to get something or to share something, and it sits beside how much the child understands.

Copying a word and using one are different steps. The words a toddler reaches for unprompted, taken together with what the toddler understands, show how that toddler communicates.

Understanding and Talking Are Separate Skills

Clinicians divide language into two sides. Receptive language is understanding what is heard, and expressive language is talking, which takes in naming objects, asking questions and putting words together into sentences. ASHA keeps the two apart and tells parents that a child usually understands what they hear before using words, so rarely using known words is an expressive question, with how much the child understands as a separate question alongside it.

Parents usually already know how much their toddler understands, because it shows up in ordinary moments. A toddler may bring something a parent named without being shown where it is, follow a simple instruction such as “get your shoes” in the course of the day, or react to a favorite word before the thing itself is in sight. None of these needs a single word from the child.

Understanding carries real weight with clinicians. Across groups of late talkers, ASHA reports that children whose understanding is also delayed are at greater risk of lasting difficulty than those whose understanding is not, which is a finding about groups and not a forecast for any one child. There is more on how this plays out for 2-year-olds who are talking late.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) describes the same split from the doctor’s side. If the only delay is in what a child says, the family may be given suggestions to help at home, and when understanding and talking are both delayed and a hearing test finds no problem, the child will need further evaluation.

Rarely Used Words, and Words That Have Stopped

A toddler who has words but rarely uses them is a different situation from a toddler who used words regularly, on their own, and then stopped. Words or skills that a child had and then lost, at any age, are worth calling a pediatrician or speech-language pathologist about now, because of all the changes a parent might notice, lost skills are the one clinicians want to hear about first.

The AAP tells parents to let the child’s doctor know if the child stops talking or stops doing things they used to do, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) advises acting early, by talking with the doctor, when a child has lost skills they once had. For a child who is losing words, that call comes first, before any new routine at home.

It helps to write down which words have gone and roughly when each one was last heard, which gives a pediatrician or SLP something concrete to work from. Why word loss in toddlers needs a prompt look sets out what to expect from that call.

Helping Without Asking for the Word

For a toddler who understands and is not losing words, the help ASHA and the CDC describe is modeling words, answering attempts to communicate and leaving room for the child to take a turn. Holding something back until the word comes does the opposite, because putting a toddler on the spot to perform a word shuts down more talking than it produces.

• Talk about what your toddler is doing. Put words to the toy in their hands or the thing they are watching, instead of the word you hope to hear.
• Answer a point or a sound as if it were a word. Say the word for what your toddler is asking for as you respond, so the gesture gets results.
• Say it back without correcting. In the CDC’s example, a child who says “or nana” hears “You want more banana.” ASHA suggests repeating what a child says to show you understood, then adding on.
• Leave room for a turn. The CDC suggests singing a song such as “Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes” a few times, then touching a body part and waiting to see whether your toddler sings some of the words.
• Give your toddler a reason to ask. A favorite snack where your toddler can see it but not reach it gives them something worth communicating about. Answer however your toddler asks, a point or a sound included.

ASHA counts giving a child enough time to start communicating and to respond among the adult habits that support language, and the AAP encourages parents to welcome a toddler’s “talk” in gestures or sounds and to spend plenty of time playing, reading and talking together. Every one of these shows a toddler that communicating gets results, and three everyday ways to help a toddler talk has more along the same lines.

When to Ask a Professional About Rarely Used Words

ASHA tells parents they do not have to wait and see if they think there might be a problem. The signs it singles out in a late talker include seeming not to understand what others say and using few gestures. Most speech-language pathologists recommend an evaluation for a 2-year-old who is using fewer than 50 words or is not yet combining two.

There is more than one way to ask, whether or not anyone has used the term speech delay in children. A parent can also phone the state’s early intervention program for a child under three, without any referral, and the state pays for the evaluation wherever the family lives. At the pediatrician’s office, the AAP says the doctor may order a hearing test and testing by a speech and language therapist, or may refer the child to an early intervention program for evaluation.

Common Questions From Parents

Does a Word Count If My Toddler Only Says It When Copying Me?

For a word count, clinicians include the words a toddler uses unprompted, not ones said right after an adult. Leaving copies out says nothing against copying. An SLP also notes emerging words and close attempts across every language the child hears.

Should I Ask My Toddler to Say the Word Before Handing Something Over?

Holding something back until the word comes puts a toddler on the spot, and pressure to perform shuts down more talk than it brings out. ASHA and the CDC suggest modeling instead, saying the word yourself as you respond.

What Is the Difference Between Understanding Words and Using Them?

Understanding, called receptive language, is taking in what others say. Using words, called expressive language, is talking: naming things, asking questions and joining words together. ASHA treats them as two skills, and a toddler can be further along in one than the other.

Can My Toddler Understand More Than They Say?

Yes. ASHA says understanding usually comes before talking, and it shows in everyday moments, such as fetching something you named without pointing. Across groups of late talkers, ASHA links delayed understanding with a greater risk of lasting difficulty.

What If My Toddler Used to Say Words and Has Stopped?

Call your pediatrician or a speech-language pathologist now, before trying anything new at home. Losing words a child used on their own differs from rarely using words, and the AAP tells parents to let the doctor know. Note which words went and roughly when.

When Is It Worth Asking a Professional About This?

Whenever you think there might be a problem; ASHA says there is no need to wait and see. It highlights seeming not to understand others and using few gestures, and for a child under three, parents can call the state’s early intervention program directly.

Reviewed by Monica d’Errico-Franklin, M.S., CCC-SLP

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